Tears are a completely normal and healthy response to overwhelming emotions. Whether you feel sad, frustrated, or even incredibly happy, crying helps your body release pent-up energy.
However, there are times when you might prefer to keep your tears in check. Perhaps you are at work, in a public space, or simply want to gather your thoughts before expressing your feelings. Learning how to stop myself from crying does not mean you are suppressing your emotions.

Instead, it gives you the power to choose when and where you process them. You deserve to feel in control of your reactions, and this guide will help you find that balance.
What are the Benefits of Emotional Regulation?
Understanding how to manage your emotional responses brings several positive changes to your daily life. On an emotional level, regulation allows you to approach difficult situations with a clear mind. When you can pause a strong emotional wave, you give yourself the space to respond rather than react. This protects your relationships and helps you communicate your needs more effectively.
Physiologically, emotional regulation calms your nervous system. Crying triggers a physical response that includes a rapid heart rate and tense muscles. By applying regulation techniques, you lower your cortisol levels and reduce the physical strain on your body. You will experience fewer tension headaches and maintain a steady, relaxed breathing pattern.
What Will You Need?
You do not need any special equipment to regain your composure. The most important tools are entirely mental and environmental.
- A quiet space
- A glass of cold water
- Mental focus
- Patience
10 Easy Steps on How to Stop Myself from Crying
Step 1: Practice Deep Breathing
Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to quickly calm both your body and mind when you feel tears welling up. Start by finding a comfortable position, either sitting down or standing with your feet firmly planted. Inhale slowly through your nose, filling your lungs and letting your abdomen expand for a count of four. Hold the breath for another count of four. Then, exhale very slowly through your mouth, making the exhalation last at least six to eight counts.
Try to focus your attention solely on the feeling of the air moving in and out of your lungs. Repeat this process several times until you notice your heart rate slowing and your urge to cry diminishing. If your mind wanders or emotions intensify, gently redirect your focus back to your breath. You can also quietly count the seconds in your head or visualize your breath as a calming wave washing over you, further easing emotional intensity.

Step 2: Press Your Tongue to the Roof of Your Mouth
This simple physical trick helps disrupt the reflex that leads to crying. When you sense your eyes filling with tears or that telltale lump in your throat, press your tongue firmly against the roof of your mouth, just behind your front teeth. You can do this subtly, without drawing attention to yourself—even in public or during a meeting.
Holding your tongue in place for up to 30 seconds can help disrupt the nervous system’s crying response, reducing facial tension and redirecting your focus. Some people also find gently biting the inside of their cheek or tapping their tongue at the roof of their mouth works in a similar way. Try different variations to see what feels most effective for you.
Step 3: Relax Your Facial Muscles
Our faces often mirror our emotions. When you’re on the edge of crying, notice the areas of tightness—your brow might be furrowed, your jaw clenched, or your lips pressed tightly together. Take a slow breath and consciously release each muscle group. Try letting your mouth part slightly, allowing your jaw to unclench and your tongue to relax.
Smooth your forehead by raising your eyebrows and then letting them drop. Imagine stress and tension flowing out of your face and into the ground. If you’re alone, gently massage your temples, jawline, or cheekbones to soothe facial muscles further. This not only helps control the physical signals of crying but also gives you a calming, mindful moment to regain emotional control.
Step 4: Drink a Glass of Cold Water
Drinking cold water serves multiple purposes when you are trying not to cry. The act of sipping, swallowing, and feeling the cold sensation along your throat distracts your mind from your emotional trigger. Hold the glass in both hands and focus on the coolness, weight, and sensation as you swallow.
If cold water isn’t available, even taking small sips of any beverage can help. The swallowing motion can dispel the lump in your throat, often associated with crying. You can also splash a little cold water on your face or wrists—temperature changes draw your attention to physical sensations, giving your emotional response a break and helping you reset.

Step 5: Look Up Slightly
Tilting your head upward and gazing at a fixed point above eye level is a subtle but powerful technique. The change in angle can physically prevent tears from spilling over and help you regain composure. If you feel comfortable, combine this with slow, even blinks and deep breaths.
Looking up helps distract you from your emotional thoughts and draws your attention to your environment. If you’re sitting at a desk or table, you can look at the ceiling, a light fixture, or even a poster. If you need to, excuse yourself and step outside, looking at the sky or distant trees to further help dry your tear ducts and calm your mind.
Step 6: Pinch the Webbing of Your Hand
Applying gentle pressure to the webbed area between your thumb and index finger creates a mild, non-harmful distraction. This form of acupressure is believed to have calming effects. Squeeze this spot until you feel a little discomfort—nothing intense, just enough to focus your mind’s attention away from emotional pain and onto the physical sensation. Hold for a few seconds, release, and repeat as needed. You can discreetly use this trick anywhere, even in group settings or meetings, as no one is likely to notice. If pinching doesn’t work for you, try tapping your fingers together, or rubbing your palm with your thumb.
Step 7: Distract Your Mind with Logic
Emotional responses often fade when we shift our attention to tasks that require logical thinking. When you catch yourself on the verge of crying, immediately give your brain a new job—count backward from 100 by sevens, recite a multiplication table, or state the alphabet in reverse order.
You could also mentally list the capitals of countries, remember your favorite movie scenes, or recall lyrics to a song. This rapid switch to analytical thinking can help override your brain’s emotional signals, at least temporarily, and provide enough time for your feelings to subside. Practice this step so it becomes a natural go-to in stressful situations.

Step 8: Change Your Physical Environment
A sudden shift in your surroundings helps you break out of an emotional spiral. Stand up, leave the room for a few moments, or even just turn your body to face a different direction. If possible, step outside for fresh air, go to the restroom, or take a quick walk around the building. Pay attention to your senses in the new environment—breathe in the different scent, feel the temperature, notice the colors and sounds. Changing your setting, even briefly, interrupts the feedback loop fueling your urge to cry and gives you valuable space to regain control.
Step 9: Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
Grounding techniques reconnect you with the present moment and can be remarkably effective at halting overwhelming emotions. Start by naming five things you can see—be as specific as possible, such as “the pattern of sunlight on the floor” or “the shade of blue on the wall.” Next, focus on four things you can physically feel, like the texture of your clothing, the coolness of your watch, or the chair’s support beneath you.
Then, listen for three distinct sounds; perhaps your own breathing, distant traffic, or a bird singing. Identify two scents, even if faint—the smell of paper, coffee, or your own skin. Finally, concentrate on one thing you can taste, which could be gum, water, or just the air. This process helps pull you out of the emotional moment by engaging all your senses and anchoring you in reality.
Step 10: Schedule a Time to Cry Later
Remind yourself that you’re not ignoring your feelings—just postponing them to a more appropriate time and place. Silently say, “I’ll allow myself to cry when I get home tonight,” or choose a private space you can look forward to later. Knowing you have permission to fully process your emotions later takes away some of the pressure of needing to hold them together in the moment.
You can even set a reminder on your phone or write it in your journal as a promise to yourself. This step isn’t about avoidance but about respecting your current circumstances while also honoring your feelings. When the time comes, let yourself express those emotions freely—having held space for them means they’re less likely to overwhelm you unexpectedly.

5 Things You Should Avoid
- Harsh Self-Talk: Do not mentally scold yourself for feeling emotional. Negative self-talk only increases your stress.
- Holding Your Breath: Stifling your breath actually increases tension and makes the urge to cry stronger.
- Staring Directly at Your Trigger: If a specific person or object is causing your distress, physically look away from them.
- Clenching Your Jaw: This traps tension in your head and face, making a crying spell more likely.
- Denying the Emotion entirely: Suppressing your feelings permanently leads to emotional burnout. Always deal with the emotion later.
Conclusion
How to stop myself from crying is a skill that takes time and patience to develop. You do not need to master all these steps at once; simply find two or three techniques that work best for your body and mind.
Remember that stopping yourself from crying in the moment is a tool for navigating your daily life, not a punishment for having feelings. Treat yourself with compassion as you learn to regulate your emotions. Always remember to give yourself a safe space to let your feelings flow when the time is right.
You are doing a wonderful job, and you have the strength to handle whatever comes your way.
About
Joe Herman is a distinguished figure in the world of personal development, with a decade of expertise creating innovative and sustainable self-improvement frameworks. His professional focus lies in merging cognitive behavioral strategies with modern productivity techniques, fostering habits that are both practical and mentally sustainable. As the lead author of selfvity, Joe Herman delves into the art and science of human potential, inspiring individuals and industry professionals alike to optimize their daily lives.
Education
Stanford University
(Stanford, California) Associate Degree in Behavioral Psychology — Focus on habit formation, cognitive restructuring, and peak performance. Gained hands-on experience with psychological assessment tools and data-driven behavioral modification.
University of Pennsylvania
(Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) Bachelor’s in Positive Psychology and Human Potential (Honors) — Specialized in the science of well-being with a focus on blending psychological theory with actionable growth techniques. Participated in extensive research projects, working with leading wellness consultants to gain real-world insights into human motivation.
Publications and Impact
In selfvity, Joe Herman shares his insights on internal growth processes, mental material, and strategies for efficient lifestyle design. His writing bridges the gap between scientific research and everyday application, making it a must-read for both individuals seeking personal clarity and seasoned professionals looking to refine their mental edge.




